Staying Safe: After You Leave a Violent Relationship

Overview

After you leave a violent relationship, you may have to take extra steps to stay safe. For example, if you printed out this information, it's safer to keep it in the hands of a trusted friend than at home.

Here are some tips that may increase your safety. Keep in mind that this information is not official legal advice.

• Get help from free resources.
  • The National Domestic Violence Hotline at www.thehotline.org or 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233) is a free hotline that's available 24 hours every day in English and other languages.
  • The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence's website at ncadv.org/resources can help you find shelter and legal support.
  • The website www.myplanapp.org has a free app to help you make a plan.
  • Your local shelter for domestic abuse victims can help answer your questions. They also can help you deal with legal issues and find temporary housing.
• Think about getting a protection order (sometimes called a restraining order).
  • Talk to the police or a hotline or shelter advocate about whether this might be a good idea for you.
  • If you get a protection order, always keep a copy with you. Give copies of it and a photo of your partner to your children's school, people who help care for or transport your children, and your workplace. (Front desk or security employees can use a photo and protection order to prevent your partner from entering.)
• Let others know.
  • Tell people who help care for or transport your children.
  • Tell your boss, trusted friends, and neighbors.
• Get a new phone number or a new phone.
  • Consider a pay-as-you-go phone.
  • Turn off GPS.
  • Use the prerecorded voicemail message. Or have a friend record it. Don't include your name or number.
  • Don't answer calls from unknown, blocked, or private numbers.
• Watch what you do online.
  • Change passwords to email and social media accounts. Always log off when you're done.
  • Turn off location access.
  • Don't post your location on social media. Ask friends not to tag you.
• Change your address to a post office (P.O.) box.
• Make sure you can access your money.
  • You might open a new bank account (using a P.O. box or the address of a trusted contact).
  • Or you might have friends or family hold money for you.
• Change your emergency contacts at work and at your children's school.
• Change any upcoming appointments your partner knows about (like a doctor's appointment).
• Change your routine.
  • Vary where you shop, eat, and hang out.
  • Park in different places.
  • Take new routes to work and school.
• Make your home safer.
  • Change the locks (if you're staying in your same home).
  • Call the police if your abusive partner shows up.
  • Increase security around your home and property. Your local police can give you suggestions.